everyday is an anniversary.

cyeo;
i love you dear. i hope you're better. i'll see you tomorrow yeah? and you'll be all better!(: your wife loves you yeahh. *hugs* take care dearie.

Walked out of school today and ran into Mr Yeo.
Ahwell. talked about the amath paper. moved on to my ambitions.
and i just told him i had no idea.
ohwell, i guess, ohwell.

you can do this.

and yes, today for the first time in forever i didnt go online or rather online on MSN. i guess, i just want to hide from this world. for a moment or two.

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and today with you standing right beside me,
i saw myself wrapping my arms around you.

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and you get so confusing, and i dont know what to think.
i can only pretend to be oblivious and just keep smiling.
i dont know if my smile is real or fake, i cant really tell anymore.
sometimes you make me laugh, but other times im just lost.

i dont know really.

Lord, i told you at the start of this year that i wouldnt fall into this same spot again.
what more during O's?

i will be there for you, as a friend.
the rest, i'll talk you through it after this month.

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"i was out with 5 girls that day, to visit a friend in the hospital. and somehow the topic of whose hair was the prettiest came up."
"but that's relative.. right? like whether it suits the person."
"i concluded that the girl with the prettiest hair would be the one i am currently playing with."

please, dont screw this friendship up.
i need you more than anyone else on the face of the earth right now.

ohwell, i deleted your number from my phone. if only i could do that from my memory. i dont know. i've spent two days thinking about you. its been so long since i've actually THOUGHT about you. and these two days have been tiring days. extremely.

i dont need him. i need you.

cause i kept waking up yesterday after every 3 hours i slept.

ahwells, nonetheless, thank you for the phonecall. its better having you toned down yknow. at least for me. lol. and i guess you figure im not the kind who particularly enjoys loud, noisy company - hardly ever. yeah.

ahwells.

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for as long as i shall live, i will testify to love
i'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough
with every breath i take, i will give thanks to God above
for as long as i shall live, i will testify to love.

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wonders what to say, again. ahwells, i guess there'd be nothing new, given im used to eyes and ears being everywhere.

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say what you like,
cause i know who the person is inside.

i cant remember if i've posted this before, but ohwell, picture's not mine. (come to think of it i think i have. but ohwell)


i was meaning to ask, will you ever?

and the past few days i've just had nothing to say.

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emaths mock paper today. June O level paper. well, i guess it was pretty do-able. no using of rulers to draw circles whatsoever. just one question where i used dydx. but ohwell.

and i finished the paper early, an hour to be exact.
stared at the lyrics i wrote yesterday on my foolscap.
added a few more lines to it after much contemplation,
there's so much i want to tell you about your situation.

this relationship was already single-sided, i feel.
that she never really cared, except that your energy she'd steal.
used it to fuel her own cares and likings,
laughing in your face, yet you not doing anything.

"well, technically i was planning to do that.... like after O's."
"yeah but i dont have to worry about you."
"true. i guess."

and i was just thinking about it, that if you've things to share,
about her, to me, cause im always there,
then what happens to the things i tell you that you worry about,
who exactly, and where, do they go and do they leak out?

its not mistrust, im just wondering,
can you tell me without a blink that you've never worried for me?
based on experience i would've thought it always have meaning,
then again, i cant judge anyone or anything based on memories.

-( the love we had before - fireflight )
edit-
i need to laugh at your stupidity.
the fact that you think you're close to me.
i just need to laugh.
thick-skinned, and shameless, thats what you are.

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"just for the record the weather today is slightly sarcastic."
sighs. i dont know what to say, exactly.

my dad's being selfish again. sighs, im tired of all this arguement.

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thanks grace for the random crazy songs. THEY'RE CRAZY. gosh. im laughing my ass off. ahwells.. thanks anyhow.

and i guess sometimes, the conversation just gets so awkward that you dont want to continue.
so you come up with a flimsy excuse.

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im looking forward to talking to you tonight.
really, i am.

vi;
uh, okay..

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idk what to say, im just waiting to see that promise kept.

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"one of my colleagues has a daughter taking O levels as well, and she told me that her daughter has been very upset because there has been like 3 suicide cases in the past 3 weeks"
"oh."

i dont know what to say.

because nothing is ever what it seems; this life is but a dream

staring out the window
there's many things you see.
the cars, buses, people - life, below
i remember the certain he.

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to prove val wrong, but with a lj cut since its long><

 

( hi val(: i did the quiz. EVERY question. )

"you would let anyone just touch your phone like that?"
"no lah, its cause i trust him enough to not look at my msgs. and even then, even if he does, he knows everything about me."

and i keep wishing i still had time.
and that you wouldnt be so blind.

and i wonder if i'll ever actually allow myself to.


Its then when we will cry for forgiveness,
yet not understand the weight of our words nor the depth of His love
But He will deliver, failure is beneath Him,
Yes, He will deliever, failure is not an option.

i just want one day to have a good night's rest, thats all, is it too difficult to ask for a night?
did physics for two hours straight at the HDB blocks at my tuition centre. with my ice blended caramel frappucino, music blasting in my head, the occasional breeze, both of your occasional company through msging. what else could i ask for?

it takes steady hands to guide you onto the right path,
firm and sure, the voice, you have to be able to trust.
and sometimes i wonder why i havent fallen for you,
when it seems we're so familiar with each other's habits through and through.

a poke, a nudge,
yet there's always a conscious effort not to touch.
a smile, a laugh,
i've yet to give you that promised hug.

i wonder if you realised what you did today, just after you held me,
i honestly didnt know how to react, so i pretended i didnt see.
and i wonder when i'll next see you again, 'cause each time i see you the smile has grown.
ever so frequently we run through how we met and lasted the months that have flown.

its like how a crowded room can still feel so empty,
not that there's no one there, not necessarily,
sometimes you just feel like you need some time for yourself,
and i guess sometimes we just can see our help.


because,
                                   ..       i dont know what else i should add.

shao;
my room is messier than yours. for one, my table is alot smaller. and i've alot more crap than you do. lol. at least yours is. somewhat neat. mine is. kns. lol!

i met an interesting person at tuition today. he's sec two. knows a lot about cameras and all. idk, he reminds me alot of my dad. just a very much more sociable version. and one who's not too difficult to get along with.

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i just dont know what to say today.
for those who read val foo's blog, i obviously koped it. val foo, i hope you dont mind. its just that i dont have any picture that could aptly describe what i want to say anyway.



edit-
and sometimes we judge, and we judge the judging.
but all in all, we'd have nothing without some criticism.

i hope you're alright. i know that im probably the last person you want to speak to now. honestly, i do care, and i just want you to know that i'm still waiting. sighs. i just wish there was more sense in that head of yours. take care, anyhow.

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