everyday is an anniversary.

HI WORLD.
im back! hahahahaha yeah right. but, HIII(:

even though im walking through the valley of the shadow,
i will hold tight to the hand of Him, His love will comfort me.

and sometimes we do things that we dont regret.
and when people ask us why we did so we dont know.
then we regret.

ironic isnt it?

PANG! ARE YOU GOING TO SCHOOL TOMORROW? TO LAUGH AT ALL THE CHINESE SUCKERS??

AHAHA. wheeee.
mep rocked btw(:

BYE WORLD.

every night you cry yourself to sleep thinking why does this happen to me.

val;
once you delete it, your posts are gone.

-

here's to you.
i've gone.

-

I’m waking up
The world is turning
The sun is shining again
I’m holding on
To things I shouldn’t
It’s time to let them go
I’ve been on a losing streak
Hit so hard I couldn’t speak
But when I hear Your voice it fades away

And I can hear You say
It’s a brand new day
The pain goes away
I’m headed for the door
And I’m going home
I’m going home
I’m going home
I’m going home

Your love, it burns
Away my darkness
You guide me when I’m blind
You are the light
That shines inside me
Showing me I’m
So much more
When I’ve been on a losing streak
Hit so hard I couldn’t speak
But when I hear Your voice it fades away

Take me into Your arms
My home lies within Your heart

DARN.
its so disappointing to find i cant delete this whole space. cause i planned to, so that i spend less time on the comp.
ahwells!

Drill Comp today.. Swallows got a silver(: Good job anyway! it was a last minute effort i knoww. but yes. the best is yet to be! (how original) Jiayou for 2009 yeah. National Drill Competition! We must win the Challenge Shield yeah!

-

Physics! seriously i've got to stop slacking. physics!! i dont even know when the paper is. wednesday right? yeahh. i think so.

i was supposed to do physics today after watching drill com. but i ended up playing songs on the piano with fan and pang. random modulations. alot of improvisations (on my part anyway. heh) and alot of retardedness.

ahwells, what can i say(: we always take stupid videos.

-

for a pessimist, im pretty optimistic.
i never wanted to say this,
i put my faith in, so much faith in you,
you just threw it away.

-

and i thought it be an easier path. forget teng, forget.

edit-

Heaven is a place where the tears on every face will be wiped away.
and i cant wait to go, but for now it's enough to know
this is only temporary.

-

and so, sums up my last post.

vi;
for one, im not gonna bother making this anonymous cause im bloody pissed.
 
if you forgot what you posted, since you've such terrible memory:
 

Meeting someone is God's doing, but parting is what humans do themselves.
you said you understood, i'm sure you still do. but ohwells. i guess that's just how life goes.

if anyone actually read my post on midnight. you can scrap that.

"is it possible to feel pissed and then amused at the same time?"
"er."
"at the same thing?"
"i suppose so, i suppose you're feeling it now?"
"yeah."
"happy face!"
*smiles*

really, your kind makes me so pissed and amused. at the bloody same time. and that is amusing in itself, for two contradicting things to be able to function on the same wavelength. i was so amused with the scenario in my head that i couldnt stop laughing and smiling after A maths, i was laughing so much that my shoulders shook. HAH!

you know, you can tell all your friends, all the people that we know, tell the whole class or the whole school or the whole damn world. i don't care. you can ruin my non-existent reputation. you can drag my name in mud by your raging emotions and words. you can turn everyone on me. i don't give a freaking damn. i don't know why i bothered to stay calm yesterday, why i didn't allow myself to go on the defensive at all. i tried. you didn't. so screw it. and you know what? that's one thing that i believe you've had, people to back you up, and most times i don't.

i remember you saying that you hated backstabbing? well, i was never sure what backstabbing was so i checked. well, aren't you doing it now? no, i'm not speaking in spite or anger. i'm not even pissed now, i'm just AMUSED. you hate lectures i'm sure but consider your actions. if you think that you were left upset, you should have seen me. exams couldn't unravel me. my parent's disappointment couldn't. you and your reactions could. no, i'm not putting you as the sole person responsible. but if you think you're the only the that was affected think again.

"i think the door's going to break soon."
if it wasn't already damn screwed up already.

you know, you should tell your darling friend to stop trying to provoke me. she did it twice already today. i dont' care about her. i might end up screaming at her if she doesn't stop. i don't know if she thinks that she's helping you vent your anger on me or what but i dont' care about her, if i'm pissed enough, i'd scream at her without second thoughts.

you can justify yourself again and again. well, i don't care. you remind me of how you described _.
-

that's that. i'm sick of this.

-end of your post-

time, for mine.

first thing that came to my mind.
so much for "i SWEAR i will never talk to you again." yes?
and you cant justify yourself cause remember this?
"

10/23/2008		10:09:27 PM		teng		vi		lol. did i ever scream at you
10/23/2008		10:09:43 PM		vi		teng		yes, if only on your blog

"

so,

1. YES. you werent the only one affected. there's more than ten people annoyed by you. and i didnt even have to SPEAK to them to get that accomplished.
2. is it possible to feel pissed and amused at the same time, at the same thing. YES. because that's exactly what i've been. PISSED AND AMUSED AT THE SAME TIME.
3. 'my kind', im sorry,  i didnt know i was a breed. furthermore, i didnt think anyone would do the honour of LABELLING me. thanks though. its quite cool.
4. you know, i dont care to tell people. i seem to TELL them cause im already so pissed off. with ms lau looking for me on the day of my O level practical (which i screwed up, thanks again.) wouldnt i be pissed? with a problem i already told you I DONT THINK IS MINE.
5. and yes, i hate backstabbing. aint that what you're doing now? GREATTTT. so newflash! oh and btw, remind how im backstabbing you? by not speaking to you? im sorry, i dont have anything to say. am i supposed to have recorded answers for moments where i dont feel like talking?
6. You arent putting me as the sole person responsible? TELL ME WHO ELSE IS THEN. tell me who else you've asked "are we to ignore each other till the end?" perhaps maybe cause they are still conversing at an appropriate level for you. but tell me. TWO PEOPLE. i just need two. cause with me, that'd be three.
7. My darling friend, Valerie Chia you mean? oh wait. you mean 'my kind', right? she did it twice. so? am i responsible for her? am i responsible for your decisions? am i responsible for anything BEYOND MY CONTROL? so what, tomorrow there's a hurricane and im to blame cause i breathed today?
8. Valerie Chia, i can safely say, isnt afraid of screaming back.
9. YES, i am justifying myself. you want to know why? because i dont think i should be taking all this shit and im tired of complaining. you can try bringing up the past about yun hao. yes. i shant bother to hide the fact anymore. cause im too pissed to even care. do i feel scared that people will start talking after they read this? do i? no. i dont. I'VE DELETED HIS NUMBER FROM MY PHONE. that says everything. you can tell me that i remind you of him. you can say what you like about him. you can tell me he's a jerk you can tel the world he's a jerk. you can say he's a bloody asshole who cant put his ego in the right places cause what i told you is along those lines.
DO, I, CARE? you can tell your cousin, your family, your dog, you can tell them ALL about how much of a bitch i am. complaining about you when apparently IM the problem. you can get your parents to call mine. you can do whatever you like. i dont care.

who really gives a shit you tell me. you think i do?
you think i actually BOTHER if you 'drag' his 'name in mud'?

for the record, im through with waiting for hypocrites to change.
for the record, some people move on. cause they're forced to.
for the record, he's the last of my worries. there's other people worth my time besides him.

10. you have a pretty good memory, to talk about him, no? the last i spoke about him was like, when? i just.. assumed you had bad memory.
11. the reason why i didnt give a shit about hiding whatever pissed-ness i had yesterday, was cause i know you know. and hiding it, would probably result in something similar. so why not just get a kick out of a vulgar argument.

isnt it fun?
amusing?
pissing, but amusing?

yeah.. i knew you'd agree with me. cause you already did.
12. btw, enlighten me as to where you got the italics quote from. it doesnt quite make much sense. ohoh. you kinda forgot that death applies...... yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
13. i'm not a genius at lit, but im not entirely fail in it either. so yes, i know what's been going on. im not completely dumb.

and so sums up my points on YOUR post.

my turn to post, proper (but still for you, dont you feel honoured)

enlighten me to a few things:
-why is someone who has such great faith swearing like nobody's business again?
-what did i NOT do (since it always seems to be the case) that makes you want to target me ALL the time in your posts?

see? short, sweet, to the point.
not a roundabout manner. i bet you could fail compre but still be able to answer the questions.
GREAT. so im guesing im looking forward to them.

cause i dont know if blogging TO a person is described as talking or not.
cause.. yeahhhhh. the story hasnt been consistent.
so.. OHWELLS!(:
 
and for the record, for the fourth time today, i think.
i regret telling you anything.
you want to know why? cause you use it against me. you use it against me thinking i dont already have a defense. you use it against me in the hope that it'll break me.

well,
im unbreakable.
and im certainly not breaking NOW, because of THIS.

cause its trivial. its childish.
its stupid for me to get 45 for my L1R5 because of THIS.
 

i dont understand why you keep going back to her.
then again, i never understood why you ever did in the first place.
take care anyways.

cyeo;
i love you dear. i hope you're better. i'll see you tomorrow yeah? and you'll be all better!(: your wife loves you yeahh. *hugs* take care dearie.

Walked out of school today and ran into Mr Yeo.
Ahwell. talked about the amath paper. moved on to my ambitions.
and i just told him i had no idea.
ohwell, i guess, ohwell.

you can do this.

and yes, today for the first time in forever i didnt go online or rather online on MSN. i guess, i just want to hide from this world. for a moment or two.

-

and today with you standing right beside me,
i saw myself wrapping my arms around you.

-

and you get so confusing, and i dont know what to think.
i can only pretend to be oblivious and just keep smiling.
i dont know if my smile is real or fake, i cant really tell anymore.
sometimes you make me laugh, but other times im just lost.

i dont know really.

Lord, i told you at the start of this year that i wouldnt fall into this same spot again.
what more during O's?

i will be there for you, as a friend.
the rest, i'll talk you through it after this month.

-

"i was out with 5 girls that day, to visit a friend in the hospital. and somehow the topic of whose hair was the prettiest came up."
"but that's relative.. right? like whether it suits the person."
"i concluded that the girl with the prettiest hair would be the one i am currently playing with."

please, dont screw this friendship up.
i need you more than anyone else on the face of the earth right now.

ohwell, i deleted your number from my phone. if only i could do that from my memory. i dont know. i've spent two days thinking about you. its been so long since i've actually THOUGHT about you. and these two days have been tiring days. extremely.

i dont need him. i need you.

ahwell.

through the long night, i will follow
the glimmer in the dark.